So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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