More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
