DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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