please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
