I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
