I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
