What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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