so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
