i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
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Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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