PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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