Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
