i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Randomize