i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
you would pick up someone in the library
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
