If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Just invented taco cereal.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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