i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
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