Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
