took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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