Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Randomize
