i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
