how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
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