I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Randomize
