drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize
