I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
