Sponge bath it is.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
