youre lurking in front of me
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
