she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
my shit smells like andre
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
