Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
