well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize
