My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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