Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
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