Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
