do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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