It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize