that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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