I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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