he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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