Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
