I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
It's never too late to be topless.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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