forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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