So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
