I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
