you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
