I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Panties = found
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
