I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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