Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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