A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
