haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
