You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize