yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
