We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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