two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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