Banned from zoo.
Again?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
