part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
