The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize
