I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
