How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
