The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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