I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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