I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize