smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
