dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
