dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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