I think I died a long time ago.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize