so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
