He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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