It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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