just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
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