I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
