I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Randomize
