I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
