Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
