If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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