I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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