Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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