I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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